What are you really hungry or thirsty for?

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Today I am in a reflective mood…feeling close to God. I know I always am, ’cause He says…”He will never leave me, or forsake me.” And that NOTHING will ever separate me from His LOVE…but…I don’t always feel close to Him. But, today, I do.
I went to the camp again today. It was water fun day…and I stayed dry. Brought my camera and my workout clothes so I could walk afterwards. The camp is being held where I love to walk. So…I had no excuse not to.
There is a young girl that works the camp, and I know her mom. Found out, she was hurt by someone very close to her when she was young. And she is hungry for God. She is looking for Him… I know this…I feel it when I am around her. She is drawn to me…and she likes me. It’s got to be God’s favor… I have been praying for this young lady, since I heard what happened to her. Praying for her mom, cause she too has been hurt beyond what words could express. Praying that the hunger in them both would be satisfied. Not with religion, new age hog wash, good works, a church…or counseling…but by the Living Savior Jesus Christ. I know that He could satisfy every longing in their hearts.
After the camp this young lady said she wanted to talk and she started talking about the kids and how sad it was that one day, some of them would do drugs, and others would have sex…lose their innocence. And I told her, they didn’t have to…that my son didn’t do all of that. She said, “He doesn’t?” And I said no. We believe in a Creator that has told us His will for how we should live…and so, we try to live that way, to honor Him. Our talk was cut short…but I have a feeling we will talk again. She is so hungry for Him…for the innocence that she has lost…that was stolen from her.
So I was off to do my walk…my regular walk…but today, there was something different. Someone, for some reason had tied white ribbons here and there along the trail. I started thinking…hmmm…I wonder what these are about? Maybe someone is going to propose marriage today? Maybe he will lead her along the path and comment on the ribbons and the last one they come to will have a box, with a ring…and he will bend his knee…
I don’t know. But, it was beautiful… Someone had taken time to put these ribbons here and there…you just knew that it was for a special reason. And someone was going to be blessed. It made me giggly….just thinking about it.
I was about 9 mins into my walk when I saw a squirrel. He came right to me…about 3 inches from my foot. He was asking me for food…he was hungry. He wanted me to feed him. I didn’t have anything…but I knew back where the camp had been…there might be something that one of the kids left behind…he was so precious and cute…and kept following me. I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned around and went back to see if I could find something for him. Besides, I had already had the thought that I should have taken my camera with me anyway.
Sure enough, when I got back to the shelter, where camp had been…there was a ziplock left on the table with 2 little pieces of apple in it. I got my camera, and started off on the trail again. As I walked along, I saw dragonflies, a lizard, turtles, a yellow butterfly…when I saw the yellow butterfly…I just thought of my new friend…and prayed for her. I said, Lord, let her be like that butterfly…completely free!!! …and then, another butterfly came.
He was so beautiful…blue and orange. Flying all around me. Here and there…like he was following me. I started crying. I really felt like God had sent that little guy around me to say…”I love you”. He was like those white ribbons I was seeing all along the way. My Lover did this…just for me…
As I was walking, taking it all in…I was being wooed by the Creator. He was caressing me with His beautiful creation. Hugging me, with the trees…and whispering sweet nothings through the colors in the sky. And blessing me with the worship music on my Mp3 player.
I heard 2 songs that brought tears to my eyes…the first was, Back in His arms again…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6oS8Ycdztg&feature=related
It is about…knowing that God is always there…and His arms are always open.
And the other was You’ll Never Thirst Again…it is about a woman, at a well who is thirsty...John 4:4
http://youtube.com/watch?v=aqf_ihpUH3U&feature=related
Jesus says to her…Whoever drinks this water will get thirsty again;But anyone who drinks the water that I shall givewill never be thirsty again:The water that I shall givewill turn into a spring inside welling up to eternal life.
He then said…go get your husband. She said, I don’t have one. He said that is right, you have had 5…and the one you have now…isn’t even your husband. Her thirst was exposed. And she said…Give me that water! Then she ran to tell everyone about this man that had given her Living Water!
What are you thirsty for? What is the hunger in your heart? Are you hungry for love, acceptance, innocence, purpose, significance, joy, peace, restoration, relationship, healing…??? No matter what your thirst or hunger is…HE CAN HELP YOU!!!!
I believe that God is leaving ribbons all the time…love letters to each of us…He wants to propose, and make us His bride. Woo us with His Love and goodness. Take us along the path and point out the ribbons of love He has so carefully placed there.
He is like that.
And I can say…from experience…knowing Him is better that any meal…or drink or water from a well…
He is Satisfying. Ultimately. Filling…and yummy. Good…and wholesome. Thirst quenching. Living and full of LOVE.
Why not give Him a chance to woo you….to call you to come to Him so He can hold you and fill you…so you will never hunger or thirst again!
Seek Him and you WILL find Him!
That is a promise!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

These are just some of my pics from my walk! Enjoy

Becoming the Hero of your own story…everything is possible with God…

Becoming the Hero of your own story…everything is possible with God…
Posted July 18, 2008 File under: Inspirational, Motivation, Spiritual, Weight Loss
Last night, I got enough sleep and went to bed hungry…and the scale was up one this morning. So guess that is my signal to get busy again. TOM is giving me a headache and making me feel nauseous…oh yeah…and grumpy.
Did NOT work with the trainer yesterday…or today, will have to re-think this. I am not sure I want to work with this young lady. The choices are limited at the gym I belong to….so I want to make sure I am making a good investment. Did walk last night with my dog and husband, but just a short relaxed one. Definitely not doing it for exercise.

Went to a movie last night…that got me thinking. Nim’s Island…here is the trailer…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDYXX87GmPg&feature=related
Great for kids and families to see together. It had a message to it…
The story was about a woman Alexandra Rover, that wrote about the daring adventures of a hero named Alex Rover…but she herself was a faint hearted woman, so afraid, she would not even leave her house to get the mail. She was trapped there in her home.
She is trying to finish a book…doing research on volcanos, and needs to get information. Ends up emailing a man that lives beside a volcano on an island alone with his 11 year old daughter. His brave daughter is a big fan and emails her back. Her dad has gone on a sailing research trip and doesn’t come back, people have found the island, and are invading it…so the girl asks Alex to come and help her. She thinks Alex is the daring hero from the stories…that can help and rescue her. The woman decides she must go and help this girl. It is a big step for this fearful writer. She has to finally face her fears and go out into the world, because she is motivated by her desire to help this young girl. Motivated by love to save her.
It shows her journey. It isn’t an easy one. Actually, it seemed to be things were stacked against her. Seemed the more determined she was to do the right thing, the brave thing, the harder it got.
She was finally not just writing about a hero…but becoming the hero of her own story.
That is the thing that I got out of this…
I am like this woman, stuck in this body covered in fat. A caterpillar that wants to be a butterfly…but is afraid.
How many of us are bound by fear, like this woman? Is it a fear of the unknown? Is it a fear of being free from the crysalis that keeps us safe? Is it fear of being who we really are? Fear of the journey, the obstacles? The sweat, the pain…the loss of the securtiy food brings? What is it…this fear that says it is impossible?
We have to face it, like this woman, and know, that although we say it is impossible–with God, all things are possible. We must listen to the girl inside of us that is crying out for help, and let our love for her motivate us to become the heros of our own story.
I will be a hard journey.
There are new territories to face ahead. Like scales, measuring tapes, gyms memberships, exercise classes, bathing suits, shopping for exercise clothes, smaller women in the gym, 5k’s, running, riding bikes, sweating in public, personal trainers…all new territory. Not to mention the giving up stuff, like the security of our old familiar surroundings, favorite restaurants or foods like, sodas, candy, ice cream, chips and pizza…
But, He will be there for us, at every dangerous turn, every new plateau, every new obstacle…He will make a way when there seems to be no way! He will lead us and give us wings for the journey!!! He has promised us! And we will become the heros of our own stories…with wings to fly!

Jillian WAS right…again…2 more pounds down! And all about my new “haircut”?

Ok…Not enough sleep again…Got on the scale…expecting a gain....And “bam” 2 more pounds down!!!!! This is exciting…maybe I am losing muscle???
…find out soon enough what all this resting and eating more has done to my fitness level…cause…

Today I start back the exercise…I meet with a personal trainer at the gym. She is going to do a 30 min session with me for free. It costs $36 for a half an hour normally…and there are packages you can buy…Today I will learn more.






Yesterday…I had nuts, almonds, pistachios, and cashews…they were so good. Some of my favorite things that I had sworn off…because of the limited fats I am allowed…But, since I am trying this resting, eating more stuff…I thought, now is a good time to have them.They were yummy…http://www.backtonaturefoods.com/products_nuts.aspx


Well, I went and got my hair cut…and I say that loosely…It was a joke. The stylist was the husband of the salon owner, new to styling…came from construction???
Ok, needless to say he was a little rough around the edges…especially his topics of conversation…not to mention just the way he handled my hair.Really bizarre. He didn’t cut much…thank goodness…
After he cut? My hair, he wanted to diffuse it…so he had me bend at the waist while he blew it, and then flip it back, look at the ceiling, ok, now the side…I was getting a creck in my neck…Well, the final time I flipped it over, it looked like I had stuck my finger in an electric socket…I am not kidding. His wife came running from the other side of the room…saying…don’t touch it…let me show you.

It was funny….she started spritzing it with some product like crazy and shaping it with her hands, saying, “curly hair is like Velcro”…or something like that…
They both said I had great hair…and should not cut it, but should grow it longer…especially the layers…since it is curly. I will put a pic of the final results on my home page…
Anyway, I survived, but not sure what to do next…should I just go ahead and make the next appointment with his wife…or what? We are supposed to do color next time…yikes!

Hope everyone has a super terrific wonderful day full of veggies and fresh fruit, lean protein and complex carbs…sweat and lots of water…but just don’t forget to get some Sonshine!

So was Jillian right? …the results so far….again…unbelievable

Ok…

this is really weird…

but I am down 2 this morning, TOM is knocking at the door…AND I did not get enough sleep last night…

so I am thinking the girl knows what she is talking about.

It was hard yesterday to not exercise. I felt like a lazy butt. All night I kept asking my husband if he wanted to go for a walk…and then I would have to say…”no, I better not.” It was kinda scary to not do anything…cause it has been 10 weeks and I have only missed one scheduled workout. The week before last I worked out 325 mins…and the researchers have asked that we do 200…so I am well above my goals. My calves are happy though. They have hurt everyday since I started…and today, they still hurt when I really rub into the muscle…but a LOT less.

So, now the dilemma is, I am not sure how long to rest and eat the extra cals. I ate a little over yesterday, but not the 150 I should have. But it still seemed to work. Dagny said that her Curves workout book said, “You eat more calories until you don’t gain weight, then you know your metabolism is higher, and burns the amount of calories you are eating.”

I really want to workout today, so maybe I will workout and eat a little over…maybe that will work.

Yesterday, I still had my frozen yogurt treat, but much earlier in the day…and I found one with better ingredients too.

Still meditating, thinking and debating (ok, I admit it…dragging my feet) giving up the sweet tea y’all. Funny thing, I went through my diary from last week after getting it back from the Dr’s…and they had written in there, “you could sweeten your tea with splenda…and save some calories.” Funny! Splenda is a no no in my book…but I have been thinking about stevia, I just never can seem to get the amount right…so I told my hubby last night I will add a teaspoon to the pitcher one at a time, until I figure it out. AND I will add fresh lemon to it, to hopefully cut some of the after taste.

If you have any suggestions…or ways to help figure out how to help this G.R.I.T.S. (girl raised in the South) to have her sweet tea, and drink it too…naturally (w/ no artificial sweetners!) I shu would appreciate that now y’all: ) I wonder what Jillian would say….

What does Jillian from the Biggest Loser say to do if you are in a plateau?…you won’t believe it…

Tonight, I was trying to catch up on blogs, and decided to listen to my music on my media player. A song ended and then one of the radio shows I have downloaded from KFI of Jillian popped up on my player, so I thought…oh, this is good timing….I will listen to this.
So I was listening, and she was talking about a lot of things, answering questons…like how long to wait before training a muscle group…she said 72 hours and then to just to split them up…
or whether or not the microwave is good for food…(she said yes)
How to motivate/support someone you love to stay active…she said to ask them what they needed them to do to support them.
Avoid eating high carb food at night cause that is when your body produces its HGH…and insulin will interfere with it…so avoid carbs at night before you sleep.
Losing the last 10 pounds…stay away from alcohol…excess calories, it lowers you ability to have will power, sets body up to store fat, releases estrogen, and releases insulin…
And then
a caller asked her what to do when you hit a plateau.
Ok…I stopped what I was doing…they had my attention.
Well, I expected her to say, work harder, eat less…and stuff like that…but she didn’t….no…
She actually said to REST for a couple of days….and up your calories by 10%…wait a minute…what did she just say, rewind, what was that?
Hey… I know I can do that:)
So I will try it!!! I have not exercised today, and yesterday I gardened, not my regular exercise, and with my eating on Saturday…I think I have increased my cals enough, so tomorrow I will go back to the gym and see if I start to see a change.
TOM will be here very soon now…so, I will not expect too much.
I am also going to do a couple other things:
Start cutting out sugar…I have gotten into a couple of bad habits.
Stop eating low fat frozen yogurt at night (finally read the label…first 3 ingredients, sugar syrup, corn syrup, and high fructose syrup–oh yuck)
No more sweet tea (this is hard, cause I am from the south and I jus luv it y’all)
Get rid of processed foods
Especially crackers/snacks
That is all I have for now…but I think these little changes will help!
Thanks to everyone that was so sweet with your comments on my last blog…it made me cry….’cause I felt all the love!
You guys are all such a blessing to me!

a full fledged fit of rebellion

Well. I have made it through 10 weeks of this…
Weigh, wog, weights, blog, eat, log…rinse and repeat…
I have consistently met my goals…I’m not a slacker, I’m doin the work, taking baby steps (anybody seen What about Bob?)
At first the weight came off…but now. Nothing. People have encouraged me to keep on keepin on…and I appreciate everything that was said. I am taking it in and thinking about what to do next.
Meantime…yesterday…I just got tired of it. So I gave in and said…what the hay. I am going to eat for just one day like I used to everyday.
AND so I had a day like the old days…when I was a just a very hungry caterpillar.
I had a chimichanga (soft…not fried…at least I had sense to do that; ) I had chips with it, the fried ones, not baked. Sour cream, quacamole…cheese on top. Then later, I had half of a calzone, it was a veggie one, but still I ate all that cheese…ricotta, and mozzarella… And that is not it…oh no…later I had popcorn…the buttered kind…definitely not the smart stuff. BUT wait there is more…then I had milk duds..a whole box of them to go with the popcorn and a couple of dove chocolates to close out the day.
It was, I believe, a full fledged fit of rebellion. My first one since I started in May. I think my discouraged state of mind was just an opportunity for my impending PMS to take over all reason.
But, don’t worry…today I was back on track.
I noticed a couple of things when I abandoned the process for a day:
I felt pretty bad after I ate all the fat for lunch.
Didn’t like waiting so long to get hungry again.
I definitely didn’t enjoy walking with all that stuff in my tummy, forget running.
And although I did enjoy the popcorn and the milk duds, I still got compulsive with them and kept eating them, even when I was already satisfied–just like the old days…didn’t like feeling so out of control…it was embarrassing.
My conclusion…
It is not that great to give into your desires. There is a trade off. I want to lose weight more than give into my lust for food. Being rebellious doesn’t do a bit of good. You have to trust the process and press in. Keep at it even when things don’t seem to be changing or the scale is not moving. I know all of this…but it is the putting it into practice that is the hard part.
When I was walking yesterday and thinking about my weight loss…I was also thinking about all the people here that have really lost the weight…Kama, Bette Jo, Dorey, Rachel, Angelia…and all the others that inspire me. I wondered about them, did they have days like this? What did they do to make it through…?
I also had a major realization of just how admirable they are. What a blessing it is for me to be able to glean from them.
So grateful for all of you…that you understand and can hold my hand and help me through! Thank you!!!!!!!!

Discouraged by my lack of progress…

Wondering where I am going wrong. Writing it all down…yep. Exercising more and more…uh huh. Less food…check. Not binging anymore…again, yes.
Then what is it? I am eating 1500 cals a day and only 33 grams of fat…but still nothing, nada…no movement from Mr. Scale. I thought, when the stall first happened…it was hormonal…now I wonder, since it has been a MONTH!!!
So I am wondering what is going on. Could it be the carbs, late night eating, not enough sleep, am I not working out hard enough, sitting too much with my new job, too many cals? WHAT could it be…maybe all of these…or just one?
A friend of mine here gave me a food plan that she uses. She has lost so much weight on it, but it is very restrictive. No sweets…no sugar…no caffine…no this and that. I just don’t think I can do that. I have found things to substitute for the REALLY bad stuff I ate before…and I like having that option to help me through. But if that is the problem…then I guess I will have to stop eating them.
I keep looking at the list of food she has given me…and wondering…could I do this?
Was thinking today, that maybe I should have another dietitian look at my food diary or get a personal trainer…maybe they can figure it out for me. Cause I am stumped…and discouraged. Feeling like a boat out of water, waiting and hoping for the tide to come in…

Why do we compare ourselves to others? (warning rant ahead)

What good does this do–this comparing? It is judgment, can turn to competition, then a need to control…and then manipulation! Or what about self-hatred coupled with defeating behavior…
When we are just individuals…all of us.
What good does it do, to the person that we compare ourselves to…or to ourselves. What good can come of it?
Why do we do it? What is the purpose in it? Why can’t we be free to be who we are…and it be ok? Why must people compare themselves to others?
How do you feel when you see someone on TV that is more beautiful, fit, wealthy, smart, intelligent…etc? Do you think…wow they are blessed…or do you look for things to pick apart about them? Do you compare yourself to them and start the inner dialog…if only I were…
Do you cry about it?
When I was young and beautiful…I saw hatred in women’s eyes because of my beauty. I saw them compare themselves to me. I saw the look of jealousy in their eyes…when I had done nothing to them. I was just being who I was…and they rejected me. Sometimes they would hold their husbands closer…and I just wanted to say…I am not interested in your husband…but that is what the fruit of comparison and jealousy does to people. It hurt me.
Since I have become a Christian, I have had people judge me and hate me…when I was just trying to love them. Not just any “people”….close family members…people that I loved. comparison…jealousy….rejection.
Satan wanted to be like God…because he compared himself to God…it was pride that caused him to do it!
“Pride is actually a mark of inner inferiority and uncertainty, and such people compensate by over-emphasizing and flaunting the qualities they think they posses that will cause others to think well of them.”
I am sure, once I have lost all my weight, there will be people that compare themselves to me…and become jealous. They may even hurt me with their words…or lack of them. Why would someone do that? What would be their motivation for that?
What is this need in us to steal the joy from others, because of our insecurities? Or have to be the best at the expense of others? Why can’t we just be who we are? And let others be free to be themselves? Why do we have to attack others with our judgements and comparisons…and make them feel rejected?
Why?
My challenge this week is for everyone to stop comparing yourself to others…because it not only hurts you, but it can hurt the people that you compare yourself to. Let’s try to be real with people (and ourselves) and stop trying to be all that. Accept who you are…where you are and just be real…not fake…not manipulative. Let’s love ourselves RIGHT where we are and be the best ME we can be!

Diet Sodas make you hungry! Let me tell you what happened to me…

This past week I was at work and I grabbed a soda out of the machine. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!
I used to drink 5 or 6 a day…and that was the around the time I gained 100 pounds. Diet Coke was my drug of choice. I was raised on sodas, they were called “drinks” in my house. It wasn’t unusual to have them with breakfast…seriously.
Well, since I got married, my husband has convinced me to give them up. Sometimes I will have one for whatever reason, but I ALWAYS regret it.
This day I was hungry but I had an hour and a half until I left work, and wanted something to help curb my appetite, so I grabbed a 20 oz diet mountain dew. It seemed to help at first, but then it hit me. Hunger like a crazy obsessive kind…
AND that wasn’t it. It continued once I got home and ate something. I became a munching freak…grabbing all kinds of stuff. It was honestly like there was a fire inside of me I was trying to put out and only high sugar, high calorie stuff would work.
I have been on this food plan since May 5th…and I have not experienced this type of hunger pangs since I began.
The day after this happened, someone posted about being hungry and I just asked them if they drank sodas…and they said they did…
hmmmm…so….it wasn’t just me. There is something to it.
I also noticed that the effects seemed to carry on into the next day…I seemed to become overly emotional…MUCH like I would get after a sugar binge…in my former days.
STAY AWAY from the SODAS…especially the diet ones…there is a connection…and they are NOT good for you!!
Here is some info I found on a quick search–hope it helps someone kick the soda habit!!!!
http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/help-soda-lovers
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/05/health/nutrition/05symp.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
#1 Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: Dehydration
#2 Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: High Calorie
#3 Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: Caffeine Addiction
#4 Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: Acid
#5 Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: Save Money
#6Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: Lose Weight
Of course “regular” sodas would not help you reach your weight loss goals, but certainly diet soda can be a useful tool in weight management, right? The word “Diet” is right there in the name, after all. Wrong! Researches at the University of Texas Health Science Center found that diet sodas put a person at a higher risk of becoming overweight. According to their research, “artificial sweeteners can interfere with the body’s natural ability to regulate calorie intake. This could mean people who consume artificially sweetened items are more likely to overindulge.”
#7 Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: Artificial Sweetener Issues
Often the subject of urban legend, artificial sweeteners have been accused of everything from causing headaches to multiple sclerosis and even death. Most artificial sweeteners have over 20 years of research behind them, proving their safety for most individuals. However, consumption of artificial sweeteners may make some people crave more sweet things which will in turn create more cravings for people who are trying to avoid sweet foods for health reasons.
#8 Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: Mineral Depletion
#9 Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: Less Chance for Diabetes
#10 Reason to Quit Drinking Soda Pop: Soda Replaces Healthier Drinks
When you drink diet soda you ingest a long list of potentially harmful chemicals and additives
There is usually too much caffeine in diet soda
Caffeine is a diuretic – so instead of the diet soda quenching thirst, it actually dehydrates you
Diet soda usually contains sodium which makes you more thirsty
Diet soda contains phosphoric acid which sucks calcium out of your body
Diet soda causes your body to be more acidic so it screws up your pH balance. Cancer and other diseases tend to grow rapidly in an acidic environment – so you want your body to be more alkaline
Diet soda harms your teeth – the acid in soda eats away tooth enamel
Diet soda can cause irritation of your stomach lining
Diet soda can be addictive and can give you severe withdrawal symptoms as you wean yourself off of it.
Diet sodas can trigger a sweet tooth craving that leads you to binge on high calorie sugary treats. Then instead of losing weight you are gaining more.
http://quick-ways-to-lose-weight.com/81/reasons-to-quit-drinking-diet-soda-quick-ways-to-lose-weight/
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/158674/ten_reasons_to_quit_drinking_soda_pop.html?page=3&cat=7
http://www.crossroadsclinic.net/articles/diet_soda.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/05/health/nutrition/05symp.html
Diet sodas Linked to Metabolic Syndrome — the collection of risk factors for cardiovascular disease and diabetes that include abdominal obesity, high cholesterol and blood glucose levels, and elevated blood pressure.

The Cost of Freedom for the Peace of Independence

America was a colony of Great Britian, but wanted to be free. Free from the tyranny and control of a leader and government that was hurting them.
They said in simple words:
Sometimes the people of a country do not want to live in that country any more, because the govenment has become unjust, and so they decide to make their land into a new country.
We are going to do this because we believe, all people are Created equal by God and He wants every person to have rights like life, freedom, and the ability to pursuit happiness. The job of a good government is to protect the rights of the people. The government must do what the people say, because the people made the government, if it does, then it is called a democracy.
The government of Great Britian put people in jail with no reason, made taxes that were too high, and did not give respect to people who lived in the colony.
So America declared their independence.
They fought for their freedom. There was a war…the American Revolutionary War from 1775–1783.
8000 died in conflict, 17,000 died from other causes…for a total of 25,000…with another 25,000 that were wounded.
That makes 50,000 people who gave so that we could be free!
Just thinking…
We are like that…declaring our independence, reclaiming our freedom from being overweight.
We the people of buddyslim are fighting for our liberation.
Freedom!!!
We have chosen a new form of government for our bodies. We have declared that we deserve to have a better life, freedom from the extra weight and the opportunity to pursuit happiness. So we are separating ourselves from our former way…declaring liberty from the tyranny of control, taxation on our bodies and unjust prisons of shame.
It will be a war, there is a cost, but the joy of the independence set before us motivates us to fight for freedom!
This is an actual quote from the Declaration of Independence that America was making to Great Britian. “We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.”
I like that last part. That is how I feel about food, or anything that stands between me and my freedom…enemies in war, friends in peace.
Looking forward to the day of peace, when I can be who God created me to be, and live in peace, in my new body, under my own government…in life, liberty and happiness!

Everyday is just a step in the journey that is leading you where you want to go

Last week my feet started hurting, so I thought about pulling back a little…and trying something different. So…this week I am trying a kind-er gent-ler approach. I am walking, and not running, (well maybe a little: ) But I am doing it more than once a day for a longer total time. AND I am going to try to do it everyday…at least once.

I read somewhere recently that if you start to wonder if all this exercise is making a difference…then you should do one of the old workouts you used to do–just to encourage yourself.

So today during my first workout I did week one of the interval training I started back in May and it was amazing! I was able to walk during the whole thing. When I first started I could not even move my body fast enough to walk during the fast parts…I would have to jog. AND there was no way I could make it all the way through the whole session, without stopping!!!! This time instead of wondering when the fast part would be over, I was amazed at how little time it really was.

I WAS encouraged and just wanted to share it with everyone!!!

I started May 5th…and I have changed so much. I really like to exercise now and my body has dropped weight plus inches.

Be encouraged, and know that everyday is just a step in the journey that is leading you where you want to go. You can go there fast or slow, but as long as you are taking the steps you will get there! AND the view…
will be amazing!

I got that AFTERGLOW!

I got that AFTERGLOW!
Posted April 18, 2008 Comments(6) Edit
Just got home from the gym! I am glistening with sweat, my face is flush…and I feel good, doodeedoodeedoodeedoo, like I know I should…so good, so good, since I found you: )(gotta love James Brown)Really, it was productive. I wogged (walked and jogged) on the treadmill and then did the machines for my arms, chest shoulders. My legs are still sore from the last trip…so I thought I’d give them a rest. Doing an interval training I got off of http://www.podrunner.com/.
I am still a little uncomfortable…feeling extremely self conscience. Saw a young guy looking at me, and then he looked at his friend…and I just got that feeling that I was being made fun of. Y’know what I mean? Oh well. I gave him my best “mother” look as I walked past him, and just decided to let it fuel my love for myself. Not the hate that tries to keep me a very hungry caterpillar.
This book follows the ravenous caterpillar’s path as he eats his way through one apple (and the pages of the book itself) on Monday, two pears on Tuesday, three plums on Wednesday, and so on, through cherry pie and sausage - -until he is really fat and has a stomachache
Remember him? He was a binger: ) And he got a tummy ache. Sunday morning, I guess he repented because, then he ate the one leaf…then he felt better.
I want to learn to LOVE myself, like God does, so I don’t choose to hurt myself with binging…especially when others are hurting me. I want to learn to protect myself by crawling into God’s Crysalis of Love, the quiet, secret place where He will transform me, as only He can and it is in that place…He will give me wings!
I want to be a BUTTERFLY that is free to fly…and glorifies His Name!

Do I really look like that?

Posted April 18, 2008 Comments(12) Edit
Reality bites.

Tonight, I uploaded some photos taken recently of me, and I am in shock.

A sad sickening, consuming self-defeating kind of shock.

Wondering, HOW will I lose all this weight?

I have tried and wanted it so long, it has become a mountain in my life. A mountain of fat. Yuck.
Shocked at the shape I am in. Just sick by it.

Not sure if it is just the fat, or the realization that I am getting old. 44, and soon to be 45. Realizing, I will never be young again. Wondering…how do you make the most of it?…what’s left of my fading beauty. Wondering if I will ever get to that place where I say, “I am ok, just like I am.” or “I look great!” and REALLY mean it.

Do I just decide to live in denial, or just go for it?…with all my heart. Just decide, “I am worth it”, “I matter” and therefore…I am GOING to do it this time?

I have been walking/jogging for a very short time…and yesterday, I joined a gym, worked out like a mad woman, and today, I can hardly walk: )

Monday, I will go for a fitness accessment to become part of a weightloss study through UNC. I am not sure what support I will get once I officially start the program, but I am hoping it is just what “the Dr.” ordered.

After I saw the photos, I tried to cry on my husband’s shoulder about it…but, he doesn’t understand the pain, the suffering and the paralysing effect of being over 100 lbs overweight. Socially, physically, emotionally, vocationally…etc. It is crippling…no doubt.

I am ready to hang upside down and build my crysalis around me. It is there that I will be transformed…in the safety of my Father’s love and miraculous power. The butterfly will fly!

OMG…I just looked up, at the TV that is on in the background…and there is the most beautiful butterfly on it right now…oh my…there are so many. Monarchs. It is a Maranantha song on DayStar, Worship.net, and it is called….”In His Time” The words are:
In His time, in His time,

He makes all things beautiful in His time.

Lord, my life to You I bring,

May each song I have to sing,

Be to You a lovely thing,

in Your time.

In Your time, in Your time,

You make all things beautiful in Your time.

Lord, my life to You I bring,

May each song I have to sing,

Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.

Yes Lord,

in Your time,

make me beautiful.